From Korean Drama “Dream High 2”:

I have waited for so long...
My breaths that were mixed with tears,
there were too many of those days.
I have barely survived.
Whenever that happened,
there was something that protected me...
it was a small dream.
If you'll hear me out,
I'm happier than anyone else.
I won't cry anymore.
I will stop my tears.
I'm going to start smiling now...
I know the road I will be traveling
won't be easy...
But I can do it...
Someday my dreams will come true...
I know...
I will promise my dreams to those stars...
that I will not give up...
If someone will hear my songs,
I will be happier than anyone else.
I'm wishing upon a star...

Julienne Taylor - “I Don`t Wanna Talk About It”:

I can tell by your eyes that you have probably been crying forever,
and the stars in the sky don’t mean nothing to you, they’re a mirror.
I don’t want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, won’t you listen to my heart, whoa, my heart?
If I stand all alone, will the shadow
hide the color of my heart
Blue for the tears, black for the night’s fears…
The star in the sky don’t mean nothing to you, they’re a mirror.
I don’t want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer, if I stay here, won’t you listen to my heart,
whoa, heart?
I don’t want to talk about it, how you broke this ol’ heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer, if I stay here, won’t you listen to my heart,
whoa, heart?
My heart, whoa, heart.

Rain...

I was inspired with Together, in the Rain I wished I can write something like it that’s when I was inspired with this words…
Hand in Hand… Heart in Heart… Like she said together we were… I loved these words… So I walked along the road admiring it… while I was looking I forgot what it’s like to live my life for myself (on my Own)… I was lost and now am found but still… still the pain remain here in hiding… my words wasn’t easy said but I said it and bear the pain… The act wasn’t the truth but people believed it… but when they saw the truth they ask about it… I was in a shock I didn’t believe what I hear or see but I learned with time that in life nothing is impossible… and that was it…. Yours: AmyBadr

Together, in the Rain
Hand-in-hand and Heart-in-heart, together
We set off for our lovely evening walk.
Soft breeze blowing, Sun setting in splendor
Why then, was he so hesitant to talk?
Feathery clouds grew heavier, darkened,
Perturbed; foreseeing some impending doom.
Enshrouding curses did darkness descend.
He faced me then with an aura of gloom.
Shattering the silence came words painful,
Numbing; relentless, deep stabs on my heart.
The skies now roared, enraged at the dreadful;
Burning cold drops now ripped my skin apart.
Hand dropped, heart blazed; I stood to be devoured
By grief; and now the rain recklessly poured. (Copied)

Dear Diary;

It has been a long time
Since I sat so late at night like that
Opening my Dear Diary… to write…
Am sitting there and in front of me I can see the gardens
And I can feel the breeze of the air touching my skin
Listening to my lovely songs
Feeling it’s a mood to draw or write
Smelling the air it’s like a smell of something burning with the smell of flower
How can I put it I feel it’s lovely
Listening to everything around
Birds singing… and if I concentrate a little I feel like am hearing the sound of the leaves of the trees dancing…
I always wished to be a singer and play piano or guitar
But I couldn’t because am too shy and I don’t think my voice is good too J
I loved drawing so much that I wanted to travel around the world and be a photographer and painter and because I love to collect pictures too… I wanted to paint feelings and take pictures of beautiful things that can’t be described by words things that most of us can’t see
And at last I wanted to become a writer who writes beautiful things that touch anybody heart
And make it melt… I wanted my writing talk to everyone who read it and make them feel comfortable like they are not alone but even how much I try I seem to never be able to do so…
I feel I can’t express the feeling right with words so how am going to be able to touch any person heart…
But I keep on writing anyway because it makes me feel at ease…
All my wishes and dreams seemed so far away every time I try to come closer to it…
So I just sat there and admire them and watch them from far away
And try from time to time to remember them
When am setting with a piece of paper in my hand and a pen I try to draw what comes first in my mind
And when am watching picture in the net that I like I collect them
I know am far away from doing what I really want
But I feel sometimes that I really don’t know what I really want…
And even if I know I know I can’t have them… so inside of me I feel like I have given up
While am still lying to myself and say I didn’t
My life is far away from what I imagined it to be all my dreams and goals and everything I thought about when I was young nothing of it happened…
Am living a different life… and that I don’t want talk about because it make me sad…
So here I come to live my dreams that I can’t have them and write about them
But I can’t write about reality because it hurt so much
I can write about it when it’s from the past or when am so desperate or sad and can’t find any one to talk to except those things let’s not talk about it now…

Yours: AmyBadr
4:34 AM                       25-5-2012

LOnely…

I keep feeling lost like I have no one... I feel so lonely that I prefer staying alone more than being around people and I stopped calling people I care about I stopped doing things I like and they only remain like a memory that I feel it’s not real and that am imagining another person life...
The more I stay alone I feel so distance from people that I don’t know how am suppose to treats them or talk to them how am suppose to tell them I love them and care about them while am staying away and never call them or be there for them… I feel there’s something wrong but I don’t know what?! I can’t understand myself anymore the more I care the more I feel lonely and pain and I know I keep waiting for something that will never come…

Yours: AmyBadr
(10:44 PM 23-5-2012)

Hidden Feelings…

I can’t… I can’t run any more… I will have to face the fact that even how far I run I will return, even how far I go my mind and my heart stays… I have to admit it that I can’t go far away no matter how hard I try… I try to hold on but it hurts so much…. I hate how people plays with words when u look at their eyes and know there’s no sincerity in them it hurts… the truth hurt but lies hurt more… I wanted to believe in everything, I wanted to be pure but u broke me and I can’t feel anything… that I have changed gradually I have become a person who I don’t know, who feel numb all the time, who cries and feel pain and angry, who is lonely always even if there’s people around… u can feel anything that your heart don’t want to feel I can tell u things that’s real… the truth hurt but lies hurt more… there were time that I wanted to give up but I kept going on and when I was tired I just stood there numb staring at emptiness that when I felt my life lost all its meaning… that’s when I felt empty inside, that’s when I knew that I hated myself, I hate myself so much that I want keep on hurting, that sometimes I feel that I like to feel pain and cry that sometimes I thought of hurting myself… I don’t know how to stop… I don’t know what I should do but I keep revolving around myself that sometimes I want just give up I want fall and not get up I want stay there where no one can find me or see me in a place where I can break free… where I end my suffering… I don’t know how I don’t know what am saying I must have gone crazy… so let’s end it with the place where u want to go to the most where u feel comfort and forget all the pain and began new… I wish if there were such a place… but it’s just a dream that your heart wishes for so desperately… Wishing one day u wake up and find it became real… I’m afraid to dream because I don’t have the courage to hope or think or try to make it real I have given up on dreaming…

Yours: AmyBadr
(30-2-2012 5:28 AM)

From Korean Drama "Poseidon"

Nature Boy Lyrics:
There was a boy ...
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he
And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
“The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return”

Regrets

As the day was passing I kept falling
I realized what I shouldn’t have known
And instead of walking this day
I stand up and said words of regret
And with it I died this day
And I dreamed that I disappeared in the air
But the rain came and took me down (with it)
So I remain in the ground where people walk on me
And that was when my tears started to fall
And my heart got torn and started to bleed
And from this moment I couldn’t stop the pain or the tears
And every day I walk up I keep on repeating the same things over and over again
And with time I realized that I loved the rain
Because it’s like my tears
But the only different my tears keep in falling everyday in happy and sad time
And that when I started not to talk and hide
Started to run from the truth afraid of getting hurt again
Afraid of people leaving me
I decided to hide the truth inside my heart and feeling regret of not saying it
I decided to live in pain than in peace of mind… strange isn’t it?
I decided a long time ago that I never want regret while the truth I was lying
Am living in regret of not saying what my heart felt
And now I don’t know what I really want because I learned to shut up and hide behind lies
And that hurt… and that’s how am living my life…
Yours:AmyBadr

3:40 PM
29-5-2011

I Know It...

Dear Diary;

I know it’s not about the past

It’s about the future and that’s all am afraid about

Walking along a road looking around

Thinking about it all makes me so scared

Feeling I have nothing

Or feeling so alone

Feeling that always keeps me down

Make me sad and want cry

This feeling can never change

Always trying to think positive while I feel negative

Always trying to talk about something else other than pain and sad time

But it seems no matter how hard I try to forget or run

It seem that I keep returning back to where I was

And all I could remember is bad and sad time

And little about good memories and that even make me sadder

Remembering them but can’t have them

Remembering them and knowing that I have lost them

Wanting them back in my life but can’t have them

No matter how hard I try…

When I laugh because am trying to hide behind my smile

It’s not because am happy,

And when am really happy tears come out of my eyes

Feeling like am afraid because this memory won’t last

Always so afraid so scared but thankful for this happy time

So thankful that my tears won’t stop

Trying to be there for people whom I love

But always my pain and sadness take me away from them

And am sorry for that

Hope I can change to better

But I can’t

See what am trying to say

I want something make me try harder

Something that make me stronger

I think times will reveal it

Because I want believe it…..

I wish my believes is true because I don’t want fall

I want stand up

I want be strong for u…

Yours: AmyBadr

3:21 PM

20-5-2011

So no one can find me...

Here I am
I always cry but I wanted to smile
So I faked it so nobody can know
I felt so pitiful
That it made want cry more
So here I am I run toward the sun...
Walking in the dark knowing nobody can see me
So here I am
Am crying again and hiding in the dark
So no one can find me
And when the light of tomorrow comes I walk with a smile
So here I am
When it rain it feels like the sky is cry for me
Because I can’t
So here I am
Acting all strong and trying hard to be what everyone want me to be
But I realize it was never enough
When u gives they always want more
So here I am destroyed
Can’t give more but am trying but it’s so hard
Because am broken and every time I try hard
It hurts more
Like a train is stepping on me slowly
Like someone is stabbing me
So here I am
Acting like nothing wrong
While the truth that I want finds a place where no one can find me
So I can cry my heart out
So I can shout………
So the pain left on me goes on and on
And the emptiness here in me goes on and on
And I just can’t go on and on…
Yours: AmyBadr

9:07 PM
29-6-2011

I just want Forget... It's a Lie...

I want let u go... I want Forget about u... But Baby why I can't do that... Why..?!
And why every time I thought I was going to forget about u, I find u in front of me...? Sometimes I feel it has a meaning and sometimes I don't, I just want give up...
At this moment I wish u were here Holding my Hand and telling me it's gone be alright... I heard if u love someone so Bad u has to send them free and if they return to u then they are yours... is it like that every time i try to forget u and u suddenly appear in front of me does this mean u are mine... Or am I making excuses just to keep u in my heart... Because I can't let u go...
Do u know I Love when u call my name so I have always wanted u to call it always... I Loved when u smiled at me it made my heart race... Every time I see u I remember what am suppose to forget So stay away my love if u aren't mine stay away stop playing games with my heart...
And I say I just want to forget that's all a Lie... The truth I want keep u in my heart always... 
Yours: AmyBadr

(10:50 PM      20-5-2012)

Can't we forget about it....?

Can't we forget about it....?
Can't we really... Forget about it....
Words are like that can't be forgotten if they are engraved within the heart, So when u hears them u remembers how u felt the first time u has gone through this misery…
If u really want to understand what am saying listen carefully with your heart, And remember the first time u heard this words and how u felt and how much u have been through at this moment u will understand...
It's more painful when I hear it from u and look at your eye and see and remember how much suffer I was in and that u are now like that but I can't help it I can't say or do anything I just froze in my place, feel the pain and cry for u that all I can do because it's so painful to see someone suffering from something u has experience u want help them but u don't know how, I want protect u from feeling this pain even if it means I have to go throw it again because it's less painful than seeing u suffer...
My tears when it fall for someone it's like fire in my heart that I can't put it down no matter how much I try...
Yours: AmyBadr

(25-4-2012 1:04 AM)

From Koran Drama "Can U Hear My Heart"

Unfortunate... is when u want to love... but u can't because of your scars. 
U don't want to be alone, but because of scars, U can only be alone. 
Even when u walk in the bright sunlight, you’re still alone, lost in the utter darkness.
It's like a shadow that cruelly clings to my footsteps... following me constantly.

A Picture I Drew in my Mind…

I wish it were different, but it’s not… and I think that why it hurt…

It was my choice and I won’t regret it…
I will have to walk with the flow and I will accept it…
I seem to be saying that a lot and am afraid I won’t make it…
One day I will just give up like I have given up on my dreams
And that won’t be it…
I will do what’s worst and I will act like I like it…
I will say that was my destiny hiding for me,
But am afraid of it…
Once is enough that what I want say but it isn’t…
I will walk toward the future but with me there will be nothing there for me to live for…
And at the end no one will remember how it was or what was real,
And that will be all of it…
I will disappear gradually in thin air like it what was meant to be the end for me,
And that what make it sad
But all we got to say is words that will only last for a minute…
That when everything disappears and remains sound of nature around it…
And that was the end for me that was it…
Yours: AmyBadr

2:40 PM
9-2-2012

Coldplay – Fix You

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse...
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth