I didn’t think it will be like this
I didn’t think that the road to where I want to go
isn’t there for me
I can’t seem to find it
Do u know it’s painful
This pain never goes
It follows me like my own shadow
Even though I think I have forgotten about it
It comes to me strangely like it’s telling me that I
can’t forget it
And I know that it won’t go away until I found my
way…
But I can’t… I really can’t
I have given up...
Why don’t u stop hunting me?!
Will I ever find something in return that can make
all this go away
Where I can find myself which I have lost
Losing hope is painful
I lost it several time but am always fighting for it
Fighting inside myself
Fighting with my thoughts
Even I don’t do anything to change…
Inside am in a deep fight that can never end
Pain and shame and a lot of feeling inside crying
out loud
Want to come out but am holding it
Sometimes it comes in the wrong way which hurt me
more
Because anger sometimes come in ways that make u do
wrong things
I’m this person whose weak when am angry
I say am weak because my anger win over me and make
me do things without thinking
I can’t control it…
I wish with time I learn how to control it…
Deep inside am angry from myself, from the world…
from everything that made me who I am today…
Deep inside the thing am most angry with is myself…
I hate myself because it’s the reason for who I have
become now
At the end No one is to blame except me…
Yours: AmyBadr
11:12 PM
8-5-2012
