I Know It...


Dear Diary;

I know it’s not about the past
It’s about the future and that’s all am afraid about
Walking along a road looking around
Thinking about it all makes me so scared
Feeling I have nothing
Or feeling so alone
Feeling that always keeps me down
Make me sad and want cry
This feeling can never change
Always trying to think positive while I feel negative
Always trying to talk about something else other than pain and sad time
But it seems no matter how hard I try to forget or run
It seem that I keep returning back to where I was
And all I could remember is bad and sad time
And little about good memories and that even make me sadder
Remembering them but can’t have them
Remembering them and knowing that I have lost them
Wanting them back in my life but can’t have them
No matter how hard I try…
When I laugh because am trying to hide behind my smile
It’s not because am happy,
And when am really happy tears come out of my eyes
Feeling like am afraid because this memory won’t last
Always so afraid so scared but thankful for this happy time
So thankful that my tears won’t stop
Trying to be there for people whom I love
But always my pain and sadness take me away from them
And am sorry for that
Hope I can change to better
But I can’t
See what am trying to say
I want something make me try harder
Something that make me stronger
I think times will reveal it
Because I want believe it…..
I wish my believes is true because I don’t want fall
I want stand up
I want be strong for u…
Yours: AmyBadr

3:21 PM
20-5-2011

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